She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
