i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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