Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
