haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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