I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
