yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
