im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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