Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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