Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
