piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
