would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
