She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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