Don't you send me to vm
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
