o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
