I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
