Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
