You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
