Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
