i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
