Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
A bitchslap is in order.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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