Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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