We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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