You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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