Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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