He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
