Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
