remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
