Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
