so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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