We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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