I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
