The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
