it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize