pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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