Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
