Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
