She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize