it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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