but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
