I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
