He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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