Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
time to smoke my breakfast
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
