New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
