physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
