Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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