he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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