I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
