Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
