you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
