Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
