we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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