i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize