Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
even my farts smell like vagina
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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