Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
