is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
