i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
