Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
