And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
