I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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