Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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