OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
