dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
