Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize