As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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