I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
As shirtless as possible
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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