Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this boner is exhausting
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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