my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
