my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
