so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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