Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
