Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
