Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
