Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
