Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
