I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
