I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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