remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
