from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
