i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
