i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
